I love videogames. More specifically, I love bad videogames. Like, reeeeaaal bad games. There's something about them that I find hilarious. This is an attempt to document all of them. That I have played. Ever. There must be dozens. I'll add to this list as I remember. These are all roughly in the chronologically order in which I played them, with the first being in the early to mid 90's and the most recent being this week.
For the Game Boy. It was damn near impossible to get Batman to do anything. Using the Bathook to get from one platform to the next was titanic effort. The first game I ever played in which I was unable to progress past the first level. Considering that you could chose one of four levels to start on, I consider that an achievement.
I remember weirdly liking this game, despite how unplayable it was. I guess the visuals were appealing to four-year old me. Those birds were assholes.
For the PC. We played friend's mom was in the room. As soon as she left we'd switch back to DOOM.
I rented this at a local video-rental place when I was 6. I remember because the games were right next to the curtain that separated the respectable parts of the place from the porno bits. I often peeked inside while my mom was looking away.
I remember loving the original Sonic Advance and hating this game. Looking back at it, this game wasn't that horrendous and Sonic Advance 1 wasn't that amazing.
For the GBA. This game is probably better than I remember. Can't say I'm inclined to go back to visit it anyway.
So many crimes against a once-great franchise
Gamecube. I remember the first few levels being fun, then the rest being an unplayable mess.
For the GBA+Gamecube. Kinda the same game as Battle for Bikini Bottom. Also the GBA version had no save function.
For the DS. A sloppy, broken poker game.
This game is probably one of the better on this list, if only because of the insanely violent quick time events and the boobs. Bad combat made it unnecessarily difficult, though.
Infamous for its' quality, this game was actually enjoyable for about three seconds. After that, I got cancer.
Yeah, I paid for this...
My favorite titled game ever.
I played this canceled and unfinished 2600 game on one of those weird fake Ataris that they sell at Costco. I only remember it because my friend thought it was hilarious to murder Mary.
It makes me so sad that this game has to be on the list. Rearmed was so good. How Capcom fucked up so badly I will never understand. Oh wait, it was the dreadlocks.
We all know this one. Truly Mickey Rourke's finest role. The book is actually really good, and I have a deep respect for Dick Marcinko. I am ashamed to admit that not only did I pay money for this, I have played the entire game. In one sitting. Yeah.
I love this game. So much. So do most of you, probably. York is one of my favorite videogame characters of all time. BUT MAN THIS GAME IS BUSTED!
Finally got to mess with a working Phillips CD-I. Surprisingly not as bad as you would suspect.
Yup. A buddy found an old, beat up 2600 and a box of old games. This was in there.
For the 2600
How could I forget Duke? This royal turd represents three dollars wasted renting from a Redbox kiosk and later another three dollars wasted buying a new copy from Best Buy. Fuck you George Broussard.
It finally arrived in the mail. Yup, it's Ripper alright.
