OmegaDef

This is exactly the kind of edge a distinguished badass like me craves.

It's the wrong answer, but Simon's Quest. I know it's not amazing, but whatever, it's my favorite. Symphony was a rainy day game I saved for about 20 years, and it was the best, just like I knew it would be. But I will always love Castlevania 2 the most because of how bizarre and arcane it is.

If you planted a Corn Nut in the ground, it would grow into a corn tree as long as you watered it and stuff, right?

<Follow up question>

Okay... but what if you used Miracle-Gro?

<25 minutes later>

So... you're telling me... Ranch Corn Nuts AREN'T grown on a ranch?!?!

<Shocked silence>

How do they get their Ranch flavor then?

I just heard a rumor that this thing shoots lasers and potentially prints money. That sounds irresponsible.

I'm in.

I don’t usually give out fashion tips for free, but it’s the holidays, so here’s the secret to looking and feeling your best.

First, go through a series of mind crippling traumatic events. The worse the better. It’s gonna be rough, but you’re not a coward, and you DO want to be cool, right? Okay, now that you’ve broken down and been reduced to human rubble, you’re almost ready for your new look!

It's time to put on black pants, a black shirt, and a black hoodie that you never remove. You might think you’d also need monochromatic black shoes to complete the look, but you’d be wrong. Shoes are the only place you add color. But not too much color. And most importantly, make sure your shoes don’t light up when you walk. What are you, five years old?

Finally, people are going to mistake you for a goth or a terrorist. Just let them. Because you know the truth lies somewhere in the middle, and it’s not worth getting banned from another Taco Bell for another knife fight you probably could’ve avoided.

Congratulations. You have now branded yourself as unbranded.

Just remember to stay on brand.

@billmcneal:

Here’s a top ten list of my favorite things I saw you do this year.

10. Bill McNeal is honored to have been deemed adequate.

9. Bill McNeal stresses over sandwich machine removal.

8. Bill McNeal becomes the Blue Jeanie.

7. Bill McNeal shills for Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor.

6. Bill McNeal is appalled by rap music lyrics.

5. Bill McNeal gets a cane.

4. Bill McNeal hires a man servant.

3. Bill McNeal calms lunatics at the asylum with the tale of Urklebot’s job interview.

2. Bill McNeal takes up political satire music.

1. Bill McNeal fakes his own death.

You’re my hero, dude.

And... I dunno, Dead Cells or something.

@terminallychill: I prefer to go Prisoners' Quarters, Promenade, Prison Depths, Ossuary, Black Bridge, Stilt Village, Clock Tower... That way you hit the most areas. I take my time, so I never hit timed doors. I always kill every enemy/elite and pick up every cursed chest and challenge ruin. I'll buy a scroll if I see one and it's cheap, but late game I may take the curse over paying for one.

Nine of those scrolls above came from weapons/amulet, which is above the average of what I'd normally get.

I also think it may have something to do with that specific run being on 4 boss cells.

@valjean9430:

Good questions. I had been thinking about all that too. Especially how say, a 4++ starting weapon would change things. I’m still not even sure about how boss cells affect things. And to complicate it further, I had read somewhere there may be more than one version of an enemy type (HP and DPS) on the same biome. That could be from early access information though, it’s hard to tell sometimes. I can’t say I’ve ever noticed that, but it’s not the kind of thing I really would notice. I didn’t start playing until the PS4 version.

I went back and did a 4 boss cell run. This is going to sound weird, but it was the easiest run I did. It’s still really hard, but I was extra careful, and I had what felt like a once in a lifetime build. I beat the Concierge and the Time Keeper flawlessly in seconds. I don’t care about trophies, but that was cool. I got to HotK, and he took his mandatory opening swing at me, and never even attacked me again. I had him down to less than half health, he sent out elites, and they got vaporized. He immediately sent out second wave elites, they got vaporized, then he died a few seconds later. The fight lasted about 20 seconds. I would never have attempted to beat him flawlessly on purpose, but it happened effortlessly.

Like I said, I don’t care about trophies, but after that, I went ahead and spent yesterday cleaning up and getting the platinum.

I had my ups and downs with this game. If I had stopped playing after the first HotK victory, I would have walked away not liking the hidden scaling. It took doing everything to really appreciate that this must have been a very difficult game to balance. It felt like a bell curve, and I was frustrated with being in the middle. Once I got to the other side, it was a cake walk.

Here’s the dream build I used to beat 4 boss cells. And funny enough, it was the run I finally got the invisibility amulet. 300 or so games, and I only saw it twice.