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5 (14) 4 (32) 3 (26) 2 (11) 1 (1) 3.6 starsAverage score of 84 user reviews
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Bondage, Discipline, Orangutan 0
I don’t pay much heed to conspiracy theories; talk of faked moon landings and inside jobs bore me to tears and their proponents instil a repulsive, fugitive instinct. With heavy heart however I fear I must now concede that I have stumbled upon my own clandestine cabal of colluding conspirators.In the world of MMOs there appears to be a secret society of developers that have, in order to preserve their jobs and livelihoods I suspect, conspired to ensure that all their games are to have only...
3 out of 3 found this review helpful. -
Ocean Reign 0
I’m scared of the ocean. Well, that’s not quite true, I’m scared of what might live there; Sharks, jellyfish, those creepy fish with the big mouths and lights on their heads, makes me glad I live on land with the cats and cute bunny rabbits. This fear has never really left me and would manifest itself in my gaming life as well. Any vast underwater level would always create some semblance of anxiety if I knew there were monsters or creatures with large enough mouths to gobble me...
3 out of 3 found this review helpful. -
Rune Awakening 0
Reviews are pointless things; what value is there in giving one’s opinion where other minds will have other thoughts, other experiences of the same stimuli. To claim objectivity as to an experience’s quality is laughable and remains a tidy watchword to identify those who lack this most basic yet essential of comprehensions. It is we who determine value; our individual minds determine what is or is not fun, useful or desirable. Nothing is more boring or tedious than a tidy consensus. ...
5 out of 5 found this review helpful. -
Flesh for fantasy 0
I can’t remember if I’ve written about this before and quite frankly I’m much too lazy to check, but there is a piece of writing advice I once heard by way of the late Christopher Hitchens. The idea being that one ought always to try and write posthumously, that the considerations one might have when alive; taste, reputation or commercial pressure be cast aside as best as one is able. No easy task for the successful scribbler, but fortunately for me I am in effect already dead ...
4 out of 4 found this review helpful. -
Dead End Queen 2
I think it’s fair to say that we as a species have a propensity to judge. Be it ourselves, others, or even video games we find it very easy to make snap assessments as to the merits or flaws of this, that and the other. Whilst this trait serves an essential purpose in how we function it is also the source of untold misery and if I’ve learnt one thing from my life it’s the value of giving things the benefit of the doubt sometimes. I have my lapses for sure, more than I’d l...
3 out of 3 found this review helpful. -
Hallownest be Thy Name 0
And so it is that the fire has now finally faded; the souls series has been laid to rest and the body of From Software’s grim legacy now lies six feet under. But in the ground below the allure of its necrotised flesh has attracted a large number of hungry creatures, eager to taste this most delectable of corpses. One such diner at this great buffet in the dark is Team Cherry, and whilst others sloppily pig out on the skin this small team of Australian developers have somehow managed to dig...
6 out of 7 found this review helpful. -
There and Back Again 2
It is somewhat astonishing to me that it has been some 15 years since the release of The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, my first ever adventure into the realm of open world games. Having been popularised by that very series and having become the almost de facto genre choice for big budget development one would have been forgiven for assuming that we wouldn't still be struggling to grapple with the side effects of giving players such freedom, or even the illusion of it.Granted, improvements and re...
5 out of 6 found this review helpful. -
Twisted Sister 6
I think I owe Final Fantasy: Lightning Returns an apology; as much as its narrative was a casserole made from weeks-old vomit and rat droppings it had a real desire to be different. Its battle system and associated mechanics were in retrospect pretty unique and a lot of fun in of themselves. The tension in battles and the extensive customisation were great hooks to keep me motivated and there doesn’t appear to have been anything like it before or since, because whilst Tales of Berseria has...
7 out of 8 found this review helpful. -
Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. 0
With such an intense media profile it would be forgiveable to assume that Aloy, the red-headed protagonist from Guerrilla’s open world adventure, was some sort of political deity. You know the type, the kind whose portrait adorns the walls of every household to remind the citizenry of the devotion they owe to their beneficent goddess. But whilst the girl certainly doesn’t have the egomania bordering on psychosis that affects such demagogues, she is however very much Sony’s own ...
4 out of 7 found this review helpful. -
Polymorphous Perversity 0
Despite being intimately familiar with Christine Love's work, I find myself unable to give a definite answer as to whether I consider her to be a good writer. Her work is full of heady ideas and there is little doubt as to it being the result of a curious and intelligent mind, however their presentation has often left me struggling to get an emotional hold on them. It is conceivable that this is a question of experience; that I lack the necessary awareness and understanding of the social and cul...
13 out of 14 found this review helpful. -
Sarah and the Wheeled Warriors 0
If Homeworld: Deserts of Kharak were a student it would be the unassuming person in the corner of the library dutifully studying. They’re not cool or prima facia interesting, but they understand how to play life’s long game and know that the dues paid now will surely yield dividends later on when the full force of adult life comes crashing in. It’s the student that loves classic literature, not out of any attempts at pseudo-intellectual chic but rather out of a genuine apprecia...
4 out of 4 found this review helpful. -
Moribund Motivations 0
Whether it be hubris or the simple limitation of ones talent, there is a strange habit of many developers to have ideas for games that while in theory sound wonderful, yet are inevitably released as shoddy half-hearted efforts where a kinder soul might attribute such failure to lack of time, or money. More often than not it's the case with genuinely new and unique ideas, but where the fact of it not having been tried before is something the poor developer had neglected to fully consider.Necropol...
2 out of 3 found this review helpful. -
The Age of Decadence 0
It’s becoming ever more difficult for me to remain positive about the games industry. There exists a growing sense of alienation that has been difficult to shake and up till now accurately characterise. It’s not so much a feeling that most games these days are not aimed at me, although that certainly plays its part, but rather that the underlying design ethos that run through the likes of Dishonored 2 is antithetical to what I consider to be fun and good for gaming as a whole. Develo...
5 out of 6 found this review helpful. -
PCCCP 2
Mother Russia Bleeds is strangely unremarkable. Despite all the gore and deviant behaviour on show the lasting impression is one of relative indifference. The clunky and repetitive combat is clearly part of a homage to brawlers of yesteryear but it does the experience no favours and ultimately negates any hope at a proper recommendation. It’s not smart enough to be subversive, nor is it nasty enough to be genuinely shocking. Instead it all smacks of an infantile sensibility that while glee...
4 out of 4 found this review helpful. -
Disaster Control 0
It would not surprise me to learn that if the world were to be conquered by a malevolent AI, that at some point it was the power behind Ubisoft. How they remain so successful in spite of treating video game development like battery farming, how their armies of drones create so many games to the same overarching, focus-tested schematic is just too cold and calculating to be the work genuine human beings. I certainly got no sense from playing The Division that it was made by people who had a passi...
4 out of 4 found this review helpful. -
Tread softly... 2
To call Dreamfall Chapters a disappointment is moot, of course it was always going to be. The Longest Journey and its sequel are over 10 years old now. When I played those games I was not the person I am now and the very industry that spawned them has changed almost beyond recognition. Whenever a story is left for so long the expectations for its conclusion will almost never be met. That Dreamfall Chapters was made at all is perhaps the greatest achievement in all this. Having had his story kick...
7 out of 7 found this review helpful. -
Condiment Carnage 0
Salt & Sanctuary isn't so much Dark Souls in two dimensions, but Castlevania as one would hope to imagine it in 2016. Ska Studios, up until now synonymous with anarchic 2D fisticuffs, have produced their most ambitious and complex title to date. Through the filter of From Software's dark fantasy franchise, Salt & Sanctuary effortlessly combines elements of 2D platformers, brawlers, character action games and RPGs into a gleefully brutal mixture.The adventure begins with your heroine/hero...
5 out of 5 found this review helpful. -
Soul of a lost undead 0
Refreshingly archaic is how I’d best describe Resident Evil Zero. For all the ridiculously contrived puzzles and heroically awful line readings there remains an interesting mix of adventure, exploration and combat that appears to be somewhat of a rarity these days. Originally released on the Gamecube back in 2002, the 2016 remaster is an odd throwback to the days when the series was more classic adventure game than the third person shooter it became. There are items to find, combine, and t...
4 out of 4 found this review helpful. -
Swords to Rust - Hearts to Dust 4
There is unique sadism in the way Darkest Dungeon tries on the one hand to make you care about its heroes and yet at the same time does everything in its power to mercilessly slaughter them. You can rename them, tweak their abilities and the process of developing them is fun and rewarding. It has all the things that help you get attached and yet all it takes for everything to come crashing down around you can be a simple game of luck. God may not use dice, but the devil sure does in Red Hook&rsq...
5 out of 5 found this review helpful. -
Fury Road 5
I had a ritual when it came to most driving games; sit back, put some music on, and roll around the track for however long it took to win. Be it Forza, Gran Turismo, or the much missed Project Gotham my approach was one of relaxation and taking in the amazing graphics that racing games are so often the vanguard for. There was always the potential for challenge; to turn things up and test the limits of my modest skill, but the option to just take the easy road was often much too tempting. Dirt Ra...
7 out of 7 found this review helpful. -
Hair be monsters! 5
Browsing the screenshots prior to purchasing and indeed playing Shantae and the Pirate’s Curse it was difficult not to notice the amount of cleavage on display. Now whatever one may think of this, and I must admit to being impressed by the imagination that decided to use a bra and trousers to create a monster’s face, it’s hard to deny it can be somewhat distracting, and after multiple patches it’s hard to find any other good reason as to why the Exit Game menu option stil...
5 out of 5 found this review helpful. -
Beige Is the Warmest Colour 2
Rise of the Tomb Raider is a well oiled machine, where it’s many moving parts all fit together nicely and the whole thing runs smoothly doing exactly what it was meant to. Many years of practice and expertise have clearly been invested in the project, and yet, in spite of all the technical craft on display, it’s oddly soulless, and but for a few arresting visuals feels like an almost academic exercise in generic game design. It’s competent, well produced, and yet lacking in ins...
2 out of 3 found this review helpful. -
Blessed by the Gods 0
Upon reflection there isn't anything particularly original about Jotun, and yet its majesty is unmistakable. The way it portrays its classic take on Nordic mythology is near peerless in its execution. The art design, the music, and especially the voice acting give the entire experience a heightened sense of immersion and create a strong feeling of authenticity around its subject matter. Now whether or not that authenticity is genuine is another question, but the end result is magical.Pictured: H...
6 out of 6 found this review helpful. -
Memores acti prudentes futuri 0
It always makes me wince when qualitative descriptions are used by developers and publishers when marketing games. Whilst I understand the necessity to promote those aspects of the experience that will likely attract the most attention, any talk about how impressive the world, or in the case of Dontnod’s Life is Strange, how well written the story is, has alarm bells sounding in my head almost immediately. The presumption and arrogance of some marketing guru telling me how I should think o...
7 out of 7 found this review helpful. -
Paradise Lost 3
Xenoblade Chronicles X was an alienating experience. As a fan of the 2011 predecessor on the Wii, and as a grown up, it was really quite painful to witness the discarding of so much of what made the previous game worthwhile. That sense of journey, the growth and development of its characters, the romance and the beautiful score, all now thrown upon the scrap heap and replaced with open world tedium and sub-George Lucas infantilism.Will JRPGs ever grow up? Will we ever see a great flowing of dive...
5 out of 7 found this review helpful. -
Eparistera Daimones 0
One has to wonder about the life of all those incredibly talented artists that work on video games; often having to see all their hard work mangled into polygons that really don’t do justice to their vivid imaginations. One only has to look at the artwork for the likes of Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 or Deus Ex: Human Revolution to see the discrepancy between the concept and the on-screen actuality. No matter how good modern graphics might be, there is a level of detail, nuance, and pers...
7 out of 7 found this review helpful. -
Vlad (Not an Impaler) 0
Vlad the Impaler is not a visual novel, a visual short story perhaps? It seems conceivable that if you know what you’re doing in this grisly little tale that you could finish within 10 minutes, provided you did not take the time to actually read it. But that of course would be to miss all the fun, and if you are into stories about vampires, ritualistic killings, and self-mutilation, then there is potentially fun to be had provided you can stomach the experience’s more mechanical shor...
2 out of 2 found this review helpful. -
A Night at the Blood Ballet 0
Ah, BloodRayne, one of gaming’s many butchered IPs. There could have been some future for its b-movie gore and sexy half vampire frolicking, but alas it somehow made its way to being largely associated with movies about one level up from digging your eyeballs out with a pencil.For the longest time I thought I would never even actually finish BloodRayne: Betrayal. Having originally played the 360 release some time ago I found myself stuck some two thirds in with no clue of how to proceed. S...
3 out of 3 found this review helpful. -
Hindsight: A Moonlight Moth Review 0
A certain friend of mine has always said that he wish he could get into adventure games. He claims that although he is into the stories and writing he cannot get over the hump that is the way in which puzzles are often shoehorned in at the cost of pacing and sometimes logic. His other issue is how adventure games never seem to give you direct control and instead ask you to click the desired destination for your character and watch while they spend the next few minutes getting there, if they have...
4 out of 4 found this review helpful. -
Death becomes her 0
The Cat Lady is a messed up video game. Everything you encounter is ‘off’ in some way or another. It is a dark and twisted little adventure game that explores some incredibly sensitive subject matter and yet somehow manages, within all its brutality and weirdness, to handle them with care and insight.You play as Susan Ashworth; a 40 year old woman suffering from severe depression, who, at the game’s opening, has just tried to kill herself. She is soon given a reason to stay ali...
3 out of 3 found this review helpful. -
Revenge of the Cie'th 1
Does George Lucas moonlight for Square Enix? That was one of the questions I was asking myself after the 50 or so hours I had thrown at their latest and (hopefully) final entry in the Final Fantasy XIII series. There truly is something uncanny in how both this and Lucas’ embarrassing prequels follow a similar trajectory; a desperately poor first attempt, a slightly better but still quite rotten follow up, and now this, the best of the bunch, but only by virtue of the staggering ineptitude ...
6 out of 6 found this review helpful. -
We need to talk about David 1
David Cage is not a very good writer. For all the efforts he has put in with Fahrenheit, Heavy Rain, and now Beyond: Two Souls, he seems incapable of delivering a consistent story that does justice to his admittedly noble ambitions of genuinely emotional storytelling. In previous outings he has failed in this endeavour pretty spectacularly, regaling us with the sort of bottom drawer fiction that would embarrass even the most pathetic of failed authors. Poor voice acting, incredulous jumps in log...
5 out of 5 found this review helpful. -
Disappointment with a Vampire 0
It is somehow fitting that Blood Knights should be so concerned with vampires, for it mirrors many of their attributes; the off-colour skin, the hollow eyes, the lack of a heartbeat, and yet somehow it retains an allure, something that intrigues you to linger and take a closer look.It offers you an action-rpg with loot, moral choices, co-op (albeit only local), and whispers romance in the ears of those who long for that which so often seems rarer than the existence of real vampires; a genuinely ...
3 out of 3 found this review helpful. -
Understrike 2
There is a strange mix of cowardice and arrogance within the DNA of Insomniac’s first multiplatform title. As a third-person cover shooter it is solid, but nearly everything beyond the competent shooting mechanics are largely uninspired or lazy, yet seems to presume that you will be happy to tolerate it.Originally announced as Overstrike, the colourful and cartoony styling of its first announcement was overhauled into what is now Fuse, a much grittier looking aesthetic and experience, and while ...
4 out of 4 found this review helpful. -
litera scripta manet 0
Memoria, when placed in the pantheon of adventure games, may not ever sit with the greats, but it is nevertheless a solid and, for the most part, engrossing tale of love, the power of memory, and the ambition to rise above one’s own origins.In what is essentially a sequel to The Dark Eye: Chains of Satinav, Memoria tells the tale of the previous game’s hero, Geron, and that of Sadja, a princess from 450 years ago whose story appears to Geron in his dreams.Memoria plays very much like a tradition...
3 out of 3 found this review helpful. -
Worth remembering 0
Defender’s Quest: Valley of the Forgotten isn’t the prettiest game, but as we all know, graphics does not a game make. This tower defence and RPG hybrid by Level Up Labs attempts to ram that point home with some considerable force by combining various mechanics and subtle innovations to create a very unique experience, and one of the best games this humble reviewer has played in some considerable time.Defender’s Quest tells the story of Azra, the Royal Librarian of the Ash Empire. After becoming...
1 out of 1 found this review helpful. -
An Imperishable Achievement 0
Dust: An Elysian Tail was by in large made by one man, but perhaps more important than that, it was made as a labour of love. From the biggest AAA titles down to the lowliest freeware games, often the key element to greatness is the sense that it was made with care and attention to detail, and that the heart of its creator, or creators, is present within the final product. That this game was designed and coded by Dean Dodrill pretty much on his own, makes it all the more the case with his deligh...
4 out of 4 found this review helpful. -
Sent out to die. 0
The former head of the UN, Kofi Annan, once said that war is always a catastrophe, and even though that was the general view of World War 2 stealth title Velvet Assassin, the game itself has much more in common with this view of conflict than nearly all other games set between 1939 and 1945.Developed by German outfit Replay Studios, Velvet Assassin is the rarest of things; an anti-war game. Much has been made of the graphic violence seen in many of today’s games, not to mention violence ag...
2 out of 2 found this review helpful. -
Gold Against The Soul. 0
There is something wrong with Soul Calibur V, be it the stench of something rotten, or a general feeling of unease, there is something at the heart of this 3D fighter which causes me to move around its slightly barren game modes with a vague disgust.What could it be I wonder? Certainly not the graphics, as they are like before; nice and bright, colourful, and despite not looking the best of what the genre can offer, it is nevertheless more than sufficent to cause the occasional signals of awe an...
0 out of 1 found this review helpful. -
Epic Games go crazy with the WD40. 0
It goes without saying that anyone reading this would already be well acquainted with the Gears of War series. Epic Games' flagship cover shooter hasn't changed all that much from outward appearances, but anyone who has played the first two games in the series will understand that subtle changes can have a larger impact once a controller is in hand. It is thus the same with the latest and by far the best game in the series, where a number of small changes have refined the formula into something ...
2 out of 2 found this review helpful.
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