Lockdown and trying to enjoy single player games again

I've been a member here for about 8 years now and been watching for about 9. I don't often post and when I do it's usually just to try and give support or minor advice about things I know.

My name is Adam. I'm 30 and live in the UK. I live with an awesome whippet named Blue and I work as a Developer mainly working on applications and websites, a job I've been doing now since around 2015. My life in 2015 was a lot different than it is now, i had just met my (now ex) fiance and was pretty anxious about getting into the world of programming.

Fast forward to 2021 and a lot has changed but a lot of that change has happened in the last six/seven months. It's hard not to feel isolated recently as my fiance and I split on Christmas Eve but without dwelling too much on that I've been lucky enough to have Blue beside me throughout this.

Since our split up, I can't seem to enjoy any single player games. I seem to only enjoy playing with friends and to be honest, I only play with about 2/3 friends regularly.

This leaves me wanting to play games but everytime i pick something up, I can only get about an hour through it before I feel like giving up.

When me and my partner were together, I would love blasting my way through campaigns. It felt like I was entering a new world where anything was possible but these days they all just feel fabricated and lonely.

A part of me wishes I had more friends to play games with but another part of me just wishes I could fall back in love with single player games.

There isn't much point to this blog, guess i'm just looking to vent a little but also maybe see if anyone else has felt the same way? Does anyone else get this lonely feeling in these big open world single player games? Does anyone else wish they had a few more friends who played games?

I appreciate it and if you did read this thank you. I wish I had been involved in the community a bit more but I always feel a little shy when talking over the internet etc.

@scrappypixels: I am sorry you’re going through a tough time. At the risk of coming off like an armchair internet psychoanalyst, it sure sounds like your enjoyment in big single player games over the last few years was tied in with your previous relationship. Six months is not that long to get over a serious, 5+ year relationship and the emotional fallout from that ending is going to color a lot of your life experiences for a while, especially things you did a lot of while you were with your ex. And that’s not even mentioning the mental health consequences of the pandemic year, which would certainty add some stress on top of everything.

Give yourself time to heal and recover. Be gentle with yourself. Do things that make you feel good and happy, and try not to feel bad if you can’t get the same enjoyment out of things that you used to like. I suspect that as time goes on and you move on to different and new things in your life, you’ll eventually come back around. Single player games especially aren’t going anywhere, and they’ll probably be a lot cheaper to pick up in the future!

Does anyone else get this lonely feeling in these big open world single player games?

I think I found your problem.

At least, if you're referring to popular modern open world design, or what I like to call "the Ubisoft formula". If by "single player games" you mean "Far Cry, Assassin's Creed, Call of Duty campaigns, and Ghost Recon: Wildlands", then you need to go for something else. These games are either hyper-linear cutscene fests or open world checkboxes. There's nothing wrong with this, necessarily, but if your idea of single player games extends no further than these top-shelf budget sinks then you should find something more interesting to play.

Or use that time for some other hobby. It's entirely possible that your brain is telling you that you've had enough video games for at least a chunk of time and you need to do something else.

@crashman06: This reply really hit home and i fully appreciate it. I think you're right, sometimes i feel like when i'm playing a game i want to show someone the cool scene or something that is happening. I often find myself almost calling to be like "You've gotta come see this" and then stopping myself when i realise. Thank you and not to get too deep but it really did bring a wealth of emotion reading this reply.

@justin258: The more triple A game open world structure i used to play alone with a podcast or some GB content on to be honest but still they seem so bleak now.

Together we really enjoyed some more of the linear games. Growing up i was a big point and click guy so we played through a lot of games like Oxenfree, Kona and some other stuff like What Remains of Edith Finch & Firewatch together.

It kinda sucks now because even those worlds feel a little empty, perhaps because i don't have somebody to show the cool stuff too. But maybe you're right in the aspect that i oughta find something out of my comfort zone like puzzle games.

Factoria has always seemed down my alley and could be a breath of fresh air! Again, i really appreciate you taking the time out to write a response.

Factorio and Satisfactory are both great, if you think you might enjoy them at all then they get a hearty recommendation from me.

@scrappypixels: Why don't you twitch stream. Streamers find it easy to talk to people who are for the most part supportive listeners. Talking out your feelings is a great way to get things off your chest. Im of the impression people misplace how important just going to a local pub and talking to a stranger was for people's mental health vs how were told you can still come but get your drink, drink it quick, dont talk to people you don't know well, and get the F out . Its very hard for people even introverts to be told that island to yourself...you finally get it....for another year or so. Add that theirs been an influx of gaming and binge watching that people lable great, yet overlook why people are doing these things. Its not all cause boredom. I wont rant longer. Ill offer suggested games.

Go back to games that target your imagination to fill in the blanks. I'd play older rpg's like Skies of Arcadia. The types of games you play and by the end have a host of stories in your head of how discussions were had. Its not all layed out with pretty current day graphics so your imagination goes wild. Get the gamecube one if you can. Or play FF9. Its not what you expect and one section deals with existentialism and the feelings of lonelyness really well. I wont spoil it but it defintely had me going WOW.

I 1000% sympathize with this.

I got out of a relationship back in October, and while we didn't play it together, we both played Ghosts of Tsushima simultaneously and shared our experiences as we played it.

I was almost done with it when we split and despite being in a much better place now, seeing someone new, etc, I still haven't gone back to it. With the ps5 upgrade out I might start it fresh during a game drought.

To your question though, i definitely gravitated more towards MP games just because yeah, chatting with friends keeps you distracted vs playing a huge sp game. I even went so far as to avoid starting story games I had recently bought just because I had no one to share it with.

I'd try finding sp games that are just more involved. Not sure if it's your thing but think Dark Souls or stuff with that level of interaction. Games that require thought and constant action.

I know it sounds exhausting, but in that lonely mindset, just venturing through a game like Assassin's Creed just gives your mind time to wander. Eventually though you'll feel comfortable enough to move back to the stuff you used to play.

Honestly it's just part of the grieving process. As gamers we sometimes don't realize just how integral games are to every aspect of our lives.

Keep lookin forward, sending only the best vibes your way <3

@topcyclist:I've always wanted to give streaming a shot but i guess i'm a little concious about it! Couldn't hurt to give it a try though. I for sure miss that envrioment, used to love going to a pub with some friends and striking up a conversation about something with the table next to us. Seems sad but Covid has killed that a little. Hopefully it'll return in due time though. I've never played Skies of Arcadia and another one is Chrono Trigger! I'll have a peek at getting them emulated. Thank you!

@reap3r160: Thanks for the kind words duder and it's nice to hear that i'm not alone in this! I have also always wanted to try Dark Souls tbh, i have played a few souls-like games and enjoyed them! You've hit the nail on the head with the open world stuff, it just leaves too much time for my mind to wander. I'm due to start a new job soon too so hopefully that'll bring a breath of fresh air into my life too. I love my friends but only a handful actually play games. Grateful for them all anyhow! Thanks again and all the best to ya too <3

When me and my partner were together, I would love blasting my way through campaigns. It felt like I was entering a new world where anything was possible but these days they all just feel fabricated and lonely.

Hayyy that's Feeling I also feel that moment so precious and lovely.When I walked my partner the same thing happen with me.