The teenager from Borderlands 3 tanked the game for me the moment she was introduced. Did they aim for every fucking awful teenager trope or just stumble into all of them accidentally? You know what? I'm going to change this to every character in Borderlands 3 that isn't Ice-T. All of them. Godawful. Especially that teenager. And Rhys, who up until that game was one of my characters of the console generation. But oh no, let's make him insufferable, useless, and have him whine about his mustache endlessly for the duration of the game, instead of focusing on the goofy geek makes good story of Tales.
Also, while I don't think she ruins the game, I will forever hear Navi's "Hey! Listen!" in the worst of my nightmares right alongside Fran Drescher and whoever the hell sang North to Alaska. You are a nightmare hellscape of a character, Navi, and whoever invented you deserves to have rocks served to them in all their cups of coffee.
I hope the dog from Duck Hunt is chasing ducks forever in Satan's kennels.
Any time you have to guide a child around in a game and there isn't the option to turn them into long pork for your lunch later is going to make me miserable. Children are, at best, reminders I still need to schedule a vasectomy. I sure as hell don't want to have to run around in a digital world and have to deal with their bullshit when I should be punching zombies in the taint.
LYMLE. How the holy balls did I forget the Worst Character of All Time? If you've never played Star Ocean: The Last Hope and plan to, do yourself a favor and just shoot your console when you get to the point where Lymle's introduced. Save yourself from hearing an eight-year-old catgirl saying "mkay?" for seventy two billion hours of JRPG mediocrity. An eight year old catgirl is already a dumb fucking idea for a party member by itself, but giving her an annoying vocal tic to boot? Yeah. Joy.
I will gleefully say it again. Kids are the WORST. Jail them until they're eighteen.
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