Alt+F1

Despite racing next to a sea as black as Bernie's heart, teams are optimistic about new wings, new engines, new hires, and the potential for Roborace robots to immediately develop a taste for human flesh.

Under a haze of smog and painkillers, we recount the latest steamy episode of the F1 soap opera, including titillating Turn 1 carnage, risqué stratz, dirty kart gossip, and only the HOTTEST of Indonesian exchange rate news.

The qualifying gods smile upon us before we dive into the weird world of F1 money, secret aerodynamic think tanks, and microwavable beef. Oh, and we solved all the world's energy problems. You're welcome.

The hot winds Bahrain bring us a shower of carbon fiber along with a surprising late-game driver swap, master of emojis and smackdowns Fernando Alonso, YET ANOTHER qualifying proposal, and the most heroic clown you've ever seen.

We smell COLLUSION ahead of the Bahrain GP, along with some rub-er-iffic Kimi rumors, The Drivers v. Bernie Ecclestone, Rio getting the shaft, and Formula E going VR. Oh, and remember that qualifying fever dream you had? Turns out it was REAL.

The first race of the season is in the books, and it did NOT disappoint! We get answers to all our pressing questions, such as how to watch F1 in the U.S., the best way to transport small birds, and what happens when you light a man made of ice on fire.

Look sharp, people! It's the first race of the season! We've got lots of questions to answer about new teams, new drivers, new qualifying, and the year's most ELECTRIC new (fictitious) romance.

The 2016 Formula 1 season hasn't even begun and we're already feeling the Bern. If you've never seen a race, fear not! We lay out all this crazy sport has to offer. If you're back for another season, welcome back, and also they broke qualifying. Maybe.

Pack it up, folks! We leave the silliness of the 2015 Formula 1 season behind in favor of our bright, glistening robot future.

Smell that? It's a racing podcast logged with 1000 years of inaccurate snooker talk, the continuation of Lotus and Red Bull's Renwoes, tricky speedos, and the polar opposite of Kimi Räikkönen.

Formula 1 can be so stressful. Why don't you grab a lounge chair and join us in the sun instead?

Noted racing enthusiast and carny Dave Lang tells us which dark alleys in Brazil are the right ones, how to navigate the T-shirt black market, and the status of his professional darts career.

Perez tries his hardest to Mexico while the Finns can't help but Finnish. Meanwhile, Haas gets their second driver, tires get crazier but not too crazy, and, surprise, Ferrari likes money.

In this rain-delayed episode of Alt+F1, Dan Ryckert watches his first ever Formula One race to prepare for a possible Championship-winning podcast.

F1 comes home while Drew is away, so in the grand American tradition we discuss Russian names, kebabs, and Australia.

With tires colder than Putin's gaze, we go racing in the land of brave Russians, throttle sticking, loose back ends, fuzzy Pirelli hats, and coke trains, all in the name of Phillip.

It's a great big beautiful tomorrow for Manor, Danny doesn't know a guy from an elbow, Button makes up his mind, and Drew learns that New Hampshire is most definitely not in Australia.

Truck Weekend looms large, but not before Haas gets a driver, Alonso gets testy, the Manors get lucky, and Sainz gets revenge on an orange, stationary nemesis. Meanwhile, some other guys are apparently "racing" at the front of the pack.

The ghost trains of Singapore scramble the grid, Button forgets a fundamental truth, Rossi shows what America can do, and Verstappen protects the family jewels, all in the first half of this season's double-header.

While Dave Lang drinks sugary cocktails, Jackie Stewart weighs in on enclosed cockpits, Maldonado makes bold claims, and nobody wants to give Red Bull an engine.

A mysterious late-race radio message livens things up, Italians love fire, Mark Webber is upset at something, and how to make your car faster by hitting it with hammers.

We confer as to who's locked in for next year, the best race car-themed snacks, zany cockpit designs, and Lotus making it to Monza with their kneecaps intact.

I don't know what Mercedes, Ferrari, and Williams did to anger the Tire Gods this weekend, but they are PISSED.

Some new FIA rules could cause a Hungary repeat, but that's nothing compared to such earthshaking revelations as how to fool someone into letting you drive a race car and Pastor's favorite type of grapes.