They say that Christmastime is all about giving, but here at Giant Bomb we--like any red-blooded eight-year-old--understand that it's really about receiving. Stressing over what gifts you should get friends, family, and loved ones; fighting the bloodthirsty crowds at the mall; spending hours struggling with rolls of wrapping paper that will be obliterated and forgotten in mere seconds; it's an exhausting and expensive process. Waking up Christmas morning and finding Castle Grayskull under the tree and hyperventilating at the sight of its majestic awesomeness, that's the real reason for the season.
It is in this spirit that Giant Bomb has decided that, rather than futilely trying to cook up a contrived holiday gift guide of crap you should buy for “the gamer in your life” or “dads 'n grads” or whatever, we've come up with a gift guide for the most important people in our lives: ourselves. Since we've already got more games than we know what to do with (a terrible problem to have, we know) there's not a lot of game stuff here, but this is all stuff that we'd like to see under the tree. Though--and we can't stress this enough--please don't actually buy us any of this stuff. We'd feel really bad about it, though not bad enough not to accept the gifts, which would make us feel even worse. If you want to bring Christmas cheer to the Giant Bomb offices, use one of the links found in the wish lists below if you see something you like, or if you plan to ever buy anything on Amazon ever at anytime ever. We're testing the water with the Amazon affiliate program here, which we think could be beneficial to all. You get cool stuff, we get to buy more coal for the website furnace!
Brad's got his two front teeth, and a list of demands:
Because it's not the holidays without horrendous amounts of meat and cheese. If only they packed some whiskey in with it.
Logitech New G5 Laser Mouse (Blue/Black)
These guys make the best-feeling mice I've ever used, and with a new resurgence in PC games I actually want to play (Crysis Warhead, Left 4 Dead, Starcraft II), a good gaming mouse is more important than ever. I'm using my old MX518 in the office, and the Microsoft Sidewinder I've got at home just feels clumsy in comparison.
Jawbone Bluetooth Headset with NoiseAssassin-Jawbone 2(Black)[Retail Packaged]
Invisible touch controls. Eight days of standby time. Military-grade noise canceling. This is simply the best Bluetooth headset on the market. I'd primarily use it with my iPhone and MacBook; the fact that it also works as a PlayStation 3 headset is more icing on this delicious cake.
Xbox 360 120GB Hard Drive
Since the NXE dropped, I've decided the full game install is pretty much the Best Thing Ever. The price on this one is a little exorbitant, but being able to fit nearly 15 games on at one time makes it totally worthwhile.
The Dark Knight: Limited Edition with Batpod (+Digital Copy and BD Live) [Blu-ray]
Not as good as Batman Begins, to me, but Heath Ledger's Joker might be the best comic-book-movie villain portrayal ever. Also, when a limited edition with figurine is offered, you get the limited edition with figurine. Duh.
Mad Men - Season One [Blu-ray]
This show about Madison Ave. advertising dudes in the early 1960s is an exceptional dramatic anachronism. You deserve to see the period-perfect production design--the clothes, the cars, the people and places--in full-on 1080p.
Sony PlayStation 3 Blu-ray Disc Remote
Since I subscribed to Netflix, I've been using my PS3 as a Blu-Ray player way more often than as a game machine, and for that, this remote is a must. It's Bluetooth wireless, so you don't even have to point it anywhere near the console. You can point it behind your head!
The Tales of Beedle the Bard, Collector's Edition (Offered Exclusively by Amazon)
Whoever keeps calling Twilight the new Harry Potter seems to have forgotten that dudes like Harry Potter too. I have no idea if this short-story collection is even good or not, but none of the previous seven books were disappointing or anything. And hey, this one's bound in leather!
Xbox 360 Live Points Card
Microsoft has done an excellent job with their downloadable services. There are more desirable Live Arcade games and DLC packs for retail games coming out these days than I know what to do with. I hate the way Microsoft obscures the actual value of points, but if you want to buy stuff on Marketplace, you have to play their game.
Western Digital My Passport Essential 320 GB USB 2.0 Portable Hard Drive WDMEB3200TN (Intense Blue)
Portable storage solutions are getting so capacious and cheap I'm starting to feel really old. I'd mostly use this for Time Machine backups from my MacBook, but if you want a gaming tie-in, you could backup all your Steam games, or something.
On Christmas Eve, Jeff will be waiting in the dark next to his fireplace with an aluminum tee-ball bat. Here's what he'll be dreaming of beating out of that jolly old red-suited home invader:
LEGO Mindstorms NXT
LEGO should stop jerking around with games based on LEGO for kids and start making crossover games with their weird, technofuture building blocks, Mindstorms. I'm pretty sure that these creepy, programmable things are eventually going to become sentient and enslave the human race. I, for one, welcome our new NXT overlords. Oh, who am I kidding? I'd never be smart enough to program one of these things do to anything meaningful.
Apple MB382LL/A 24-Inch LED Cinema Display
Vinny has an old 30-inch Cinema Display on his desk here at the office and staring into it will eventually make him blind and/or insane. I'm trying to be a bit more reasonable by going with a smaller monitor, but also, it's one of the new LED thangs that are supposedly totally bad-ass. This would enable me to have two monitors running side-by-side at home, a practice that can only lead to good things... like insanity or blindness.
Sanyo ECJ-D100S 10-Cup Micro-Computerized Rice Cooker/Steamer, White with Stainless Accent
Dude, you know what's awesome? Steamed rice. Making rice at home sucks and it never comes out right. And going out to Chinese restaurants because you're way into some steamed-ass rice just makes you look crazy. I can already prepare a reasonable facsimile of mongolian beef at home. With this, the cycle is complete.
Fast Track Ultra 8R
This thing is the audio interface that's one level up from the Fast Track Ultra, which we currently use to record our podcast. What if we ever had a fifth person on the podcast? What would we do? It would be chaos without a Fast Track Ultra 8R in the house!
Black Finish Professional Double Locking Handcuffs
Nothing says "I love you" quite like a pair of Black Finish Professional Double Locking Handcuffs.
Stern Simpsons Pinball
Stern Pinball is the last remaining manufacturer of new coin-op pinball machines in the entire world. One time I got so hung up on playing this Simpsons table in Las Vegas that I missed my flight, which set off a horrific 12-hour travel nightmare that included me flying to Phoenix and then back to Las Vegas before finally getting back to the Oakland airport. On second thought, maybe I don't want one of these...
Vectrex Video Game System (Vectrex Video Game system only)
The Vectrex is pretty much a piece of crap. It's a tiny screen that you can slap color overlays onto and play kind-of-bad vector graphics games on. But in my quest to own even more random, old video game hardware, I've yet to pull the trigger on one of these... usually because of the likelihood of getting one with a bad screen.
Brawndo Energy Drink
We've been doing energy drink testing here for the better part of a year now, and there's only one drink that stands out in my mind as one I would definitely purchase again. That's Brawndo. From its ridiculous movie-based origins to the way it makes your tongue turn green, Brawndo has something for everyone.
Bose(R) QuietComfort(R) 2 Acoustic Noise Cancelling(R) Headphones
I used to rock a pair of Bose QuietComforts, but those got stolen out of my luggage a couple of years back. Since then, I've been struggling by with stuff that doesn't quite cut it for audio mixing or even just listening to music on an airplane. Those original QCs aren't as available anymore, as they've been replaced by two new models. The QC2s are a bit more "over-ear" than the newer QC3s, which I think I prefer. Noise cancelling is voodoo technology from outer space, and I highly recommend you all try it out someday, if only for a few minutes.
Lock Pick Set 14 Pieces
Here, let me practice my defense on you guys, tell me what you think. "I was only breaking into those homes because of Grand Theft Auto. You have to let me go!" Think that sounds convincing?
Ryan says he's over the whole gift-giving thing, but that didn't stop him from coming up with this list in an awful hurry:
Brondell S700-RB Swash 700 Luxury Toilet Seat Round, Biscuit
TGS 2008 was my first visit to Japan, and of the countless cultural and technological semantic oddities that I was witness to, nothing blew me away like the advanced toilet-seat technology. You might think it's an absurd price for a toilet seat, but after you've used one of these bad boys, you'll realize that anything less is for cavemen. They say you should never start the show with a show-stopper, but I cannot stress enough how game-changing this is.
Lasonic i931 Ghetto Blaster
All the ridiculous bulk and flashy EQs of a 20-D-battery-sucking ghetto blaster, but with an iPod dock and the ability to play MP3s off USB devices, SD, or MMC cards. It's retrofuturistic like steampunk, except it's all 1980s instead of Victorian England. What would you call that, day-glopunk? Reaganpunk?
Daft Punk - Interstella 5555
Electroma
French robots Daft Punk have released two movies over the years, and they're both intensely peculiar pieces of work. Interstella 5555 is a feature-length animated story about alien rock stars that come to Earth. The art is designed by Space Battleship Yamato creator Leiji Matsumoto, giving it a classic anime look, and there's no spoken dialogue, with the Daft Punk album Discovery serving as the soundtrack. Electroma is far weirder. As best as I understand, it's about two robots who want to become human. It's basically an incomprehensible French art-house road movie. Also, it features no actual music by Daft Punk. Mind-boggling.
A Cross The Universe (CD/DVD)
While we're on the topic, here's a live CD and tour DVD from Justice, masters of grimy French techno. There's a trailer for the tour DVD floating around that makes touring the US with Justice look like the most insane, violent, sketchy, anarchical, and thrilling experience ever. They're either having the time of their life, or they're about to get caught up in something dark and scary. There is nothing PLUR about Justice.
Sandisk MicroMate Reader - for SD and SDHC memory cards
Between my Wii, my PlayStation 3, and my digital camera, it seems like I've got SD cards all over the place, though I've got no means of accessing them directly from my computer. Here's a thumb-drive-sized USB card reader that will surely solve all of my problems!
Twilight Zone: The Complete Definitive Collection
I've loved Rod Serling's classic sci-fi-fantasy anthology series since I caught my first Fourth of July marathon at a tender young age, though it's grown into a bit of an obsession in the past few years. I delighted in the ironic twist endings when I was younger, but now that I know all the twists, I find myself fascinated by the Hollywood backlot production values, the simple economy of the storytelling, and Rod's weirdly cool demeanor. If it's late, and you can't sleep, there's seriously nothing better than to watch a couple episodes of Twilight Zone.
Night Gallery - The Complete First Season
Night Gallery: Season Two
This was the show Rod Serling did after Twilight Zone. It's the same basic concept, except the tone of the stories can be much more varied, and they're all bookended with Rod talking about some weird painting. Also, since it was made in the early 1970s, his hair is totally out of control, and his suits all have really wide collars.
Seagate ST31000340AS 1TB Barracuda Sata 7200 Rpm 32MB Cache 8.5MS Hard Drive
One of my 500GB external drives just died on me, and I'm running dangerously low on storage space. A couple of these would set me up for a while.
Thermaltake Blacx Se HDD Dock with USB Port
I'd have to make room in my case for those 1TB drives, and this external plug-and-play SATA dock would be perfect for the older, orphaned drives. Plus it's got a four-port USB hub on the front, and like the old Icelandic fishing song goes, you can never have too many USB ports.
The Departed [Blu-ray]
Probably my favorite late title card in any movie ever. Also just a gorgeous bit of crime fiction.
Vinny originally just asked for socks. We think he might be a communist:
Xbox 360 Real Arcade Pro. EX
Ok, so maybe this isn't the EXACT arcade stick I want, but I'll take it. Street Fighter IV is right around the corner and you'd better believe I'm not going to be piddling around with the Xbox 360's d-pad. I have enough excuses to lose, I don't need to blame it on the controller.
Mbox 2 USB Audio Interface
I've had the original Mbox for a few years and I love it. That little guy currently resides at work, so I wouldn't mind picking up one for home and leaving it put. It's really portable and perfect for doing some quick guitar/bass or vocal parts. It's also paired up with Pro Tools, which I already own, so there you go.
Hasbro GI Joe 25th Anniversary Cobra Villains 5-Pack
Hasbro GI Joe 25th Anniversary Joe 5-Pack
Over the last 20 years my Joes have met many fates. Some fell victim to poor parachute drops that left them forever stranded on a lonely rooftops, while others were merely in the wrong place at the wrong time...like taped to an M-80 around the 4th of July. Here is a chance to see some of my favorites once again.
String Swing Wood Guitar Wall Hanger
I have some pretty limited floor space in my apartment. That being said, I'm also not sure if I'm allowed to drill into the walls, but oh well. Right now my instruments take up a pretty decent chunk of floor space, so I'd like to move them into a more streamlined arrangement.
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4
I've made it through too many hours of the office copy of this game to give up now. I also realize that this game could take me the rest of my adult life to finish. On top of that, I still have to get through Persona 3, which basically has me playing a Persona game for the rest of eternity.
Rocktron Banshee Talk Box
I don't think I need to elaborate on the virtues of the talk box. Suffice it to say, we need one and we need one soon.
Classic Juggling Balls
I've had this itch to learn how to juggle for a few months now. I'm not sure where it started, but for some reason I find the prospect of casually juggling any three items I happen to stumble across to be oddly appealing. These balls could be the start of at least a few hours of entertainment.
Rosetta Stone Version 3: Japanese Level 1, 2 & 3 Set with Audio Companion
There is little chance I will learn to speak Japanese well. Considering the other half of the industry I work with is located in Japan, it would probably do me some good to have a little knowledge of the language. I'm also too lazy to go take an actual course with human beings, so let's compromise and do some home learning.
Akg K701 Studio Headphones
The AKGs I stole from my girlfriend a few years ago are pretty busted. I probably don't need anything close to level of fidelity for the work I do...you know what? Yes I do. I need the best. Only $250 dollar headphones should grace these ears, and until that day I will stick with my $25 Sennheisers.
Two Dozen Seagate ST31000340AS 1TB Barracuda Sata 7200 Rpm 32MB Cache 8.5MS Hard Drive
Unfortunately you can never have enough hard drive space.Even more unfortunate is that I really never do have enough hard drive space. My projects usually run from 15GB to 60GB, so in short: more hard drives equal more fun (and fewer hours of me media managing this damn computer.)