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A Vote For Baraka Is A Vote For Stabbing Dudes With Arm Blades

Jeff Gerstmann
Commentary
Sure, it seems like just about everyone has made up their mind about the upcoming Presidential elections, but a little last-minute campaigning never hurt. That's probably why I only saw this campaign poster today. I'm not really sure who made it.

B, F, D, F, LP
We try to stay out of politics here at Giant Bomb, but I feel pretty confident in saying that I won't be voting for Baraka this November. I mean, let's take a hard look at his track record.

  • Promised to have an elaborate blade spin move in Mortal Kombat 2. When the move was removed in the final game, Baraka claimed the move was "overpowered."
  • Pals around with terrorists like Shao Kahn.
  • Is solely responsible for the fake Johnny Cage autographs that have been flooding the market.
  • Has giant blades attached to his arms that he uses to behead the opposition.
  • Would meet with Street Fighter roster without pre-conditions.
  • Wants to repeal Roe v. Wade.

When you pile up the facts like that, it becomes clear that Baraka is NOT qualified to lead the United States. I know his people have tried to portray him as a "horrifically murderous mutant in lipstick," but once you get past that lipstick, all you find is... well... a horrifically murderous mutant.

[UPDATE] In actual Mortal Kombat news, the latest game in the series, Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe, was given an official street date today. It will be in stores on 11/16 in North America, 11/21 in Europe.