Crazy Talk: Is Google Buying Valve?

I want to be a Well-Placed Source. Those guys seem to have all the fun when it comes to video games and business.

For example, take a look at The Inquirer this morning--according to one of their Well-Placed Sources, Google is "going to be buying Valve any second now."

I just woke up like ten minutes ago, so to be honest with you, I'm not 100 percent sure that any of this is even happening. If I am actually asleep, and this isn't actually going down, then what's leading to this weird-ass dream instead of the one where I'm really good at baseball or the one where I can fly, but only when I'm nude? Sooo confusing.

Maybe Soulja Boy needs to open up a news division so we can all be on-top of stuff like this.

[UPDATE} MTV contacted Valve's Doug Lombardi, who is quoted as saying this is a "complete fabrication." Start your "BUT OF COURSE HE WOULD SAY THAT" conspiracy theories right... now!