Beer Pong - Now In Your Pocket

Reporting on iPhone game releases is a slipperly slope. Outside of the fact that the vast majority of them are downright horrible I always feel like a sucker for falling into someone's clever marketing trap about an obvious novelty. Still, I couldn't help but do a double-take when I came across Beer Pong - BPONG 2009 Edition this morning. Here are a couple of the brilliant lines from the marketing material they released today along with some of my snide (wink) remarks.

"Get ready to get your balls wet!"

... And your money stolen for a ridiculous iPhone experience that will only impress dudes who like to man-hug each other after touchdowns.

"The only Beer Pong game on the App store officially licensed by BPONG.COM, the official governing body of the sport"

Dude, there is an official governing body for beer pong? Also, there are competing games in this space? WTF?

"Prepare your ego as both the male and female AIs will verbally assault you with a barrage of voice-over trash talking zingers!"

I hear the female AI later throws up in your bed and makes you listen to Morrissey bootlegs the next morning. True story.

The game was made by Publisher X, who sounds like a secret mini-boss from one of the Mega-Man games. Maybe I'm being too harsh on the concept but I can't see the fun in playing beer pong out of your pocket on a bus. Isn't the whole thing pointless without the beer? Then again, I'm so removed from my college days I may just be a bitter old man that can't have fun on my iPhone. Can any of you youngsters dig on this?

And yes. I still feel like a sucker for writing about this. I'll make penance with more stories about russian-made strategy games to clean off the filth.