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    Valkyria Chronicles

    Game » consists of 13 releases. Released Apr 22, 2008

    A turn-based tactics game with real-time elements, that tells the story of Squad 7 as they rally together to fight for the freedom of their country, Gallia.

    Zero Punctuation: Valkyria Chronicles

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    JJOR64

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    #1  Edited By JJOR64
      

    This weeks episode of Zero Punctuation is Valkyria Chronicles, and Yahtzee doesn't have nice things to say.  Watch the video to learn more.
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    Lashe

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    #2  Edited By Lashe

    I must be getting old but I just don't find this guy as funny any more.

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    Luke

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    #3  Edited By Luke

    Oh sweet!... thanks fer posting this! 

    (even though this guy can suck a fat dick :p )

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    suneku

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    #4  Edited By suneku

    I gotta say, this wasn't that funny. Seemed like he was trying way too hard.

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    CL60

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    #5  Edited By CL60

    He has lost his whole...you know...being funny thing about him.

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    trophyhunter

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    #6  Edited By trophyhunter

    well I would not say "learn" anything from yahtzee the games are never even a quarter as bad as he says
    its just suppose to be funny but not in this case or any other case for a while now

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    OmegaPirate

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    #7  Edited By OmegaPirate

    ive never found yahtzee to be funny- in the slightest. Talking quickly in a stupid accent and pointing out EVERY FLAW in EVERY AVAILABLE WAY! rather than providing a balanced review is neither useful - or funny. and never will be.

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    Discorsi

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    #8  Edited By Discorsi

    The Discorsi Times calls Valkyria Profile review "Entertaining".

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    Skillface

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    #9  Edited By Skillface

    Yahtzee would be more credible if he were better at games.

    It seems in order to poke fun at games he describes a crappy situation that he's put in and blames it on the game, but the fact is that he would not be put in situation if he wasn't so BAD at video games.

    I used to think he was funny, but it's just sort of worn out now.

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    vidiot

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    #10  Edited By vidiot

    I'm not going to watch it, due to the fact that he's so goddamn predictable.
    I'm going to go out on a limb and just guess: He picks apart the game's plot for being too carefree and anime, complains about cutscene length because he has an attention deficiency, while then picking apart every little flaw and that I wouldn't have picked up nor grieved over. In conclusion, he then proceeds to highlight his opinion by suggesting that anyone who remotely likes the product in question: sucks. Complete absolutism without any room for enjoyment out of his own ridiculously biased opinion, that serves no purpose to those who enjoy said genre.

    Am I wrong? Or is there honestly anything relevant that his whimsical opinion picked up on, that is even remotely relevant to a game I beat several months ago.

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    trophyhunter

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    #11  Edited By trophyhunter
    vidiot said:
    "I'm not going to watch it, due to the fact that he's so goddamn predictable.
    I'm going to go out on a limb and just guess: He picks apart the game's plot for being too carefree and anime, complains about cutscene length because he has an attention deficiency, while then picking apart every little flaw and that I wouldn't have picked up nor grieved over. In conclusion, he then proceeds to highlight his opinion by suggesting that anyone who remotely likes the product in question: sucks. Complete absolutism without any room for enjoyment out of his own ridiculously biased opinion, that serves no purpose to those who enjoy said genre. Am I wrong? Or is there honestly anything relevant that his whimsical opinion picked up on, that is even remotely relevant to a game I beat several months ago."
    damn right on lol
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    spidy333

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    #12  Edited By spidy333

    Are you sure you want to watch this cutscene?... damn funny this time to me..

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    fr0br0

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    #13  Edited By fr0br0

    Wow. The shift from Yahtzee love to hate happened almost overnight. The last time a Yahtzee thread popped up it was filled with almost all praise...

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    Diamond

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    #14  Edited By Diamond

    I still find him funny, but maybe I just liked all the cock sucking jokes.

    I love Valkyria Chronicles and he was factually wrong in some places on this video (most clearly 'one upgrade path for weapons'?  No.), but still funny IMO.

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    spidy333

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    #15  Edited By spidy333

    The shift from love to hate always happens especially in Yahtzee's case.. even in escapist too.. The thing people love whenever he nitpicks about the game they hate.. And when he shits all over the game that someone loves then all of a sudden Yahtzee isn't funny. Might be the same here. If you need some good laughs with utter stupid aspects of popular games, watch ZP. Don't take them too seriously as they are not meant to be.

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    ArbitraryWater

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    #16  Edited By ArbitraryWater

    His ranting occasionally becomes too nitpicky and stretched to make any of it funny, instead making it sound desperate.

    Of course, its far better when he's actually tearing apart a genuinely bad game (Sonic Unleashed),as opposed to shitting on a good game because he hates cutscenes or because he finds one completely negligible flaw that he blows out of proportion.

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    Milkman

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    #17  Edited By Milkman
    Fr0Br0 said:
    "Wow. The shift from Yahtzee love to hate happened almost overnight. The last time a Yahtzee thread popped up it was filled with almost all praise..."
    As soon as he hates on a lesser known (dare I say indie) game that is a critical darling among the hardcore crowd, the people say he's not funny. But if he had done this video about Halo, the comments would be more in the line "LAWL YAHTZEE IS TEH FUNNI!" Yahtzee's predictable? No, you people are. 
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    delta_ass

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    #18  Edited By delta_ass

    I can just envision some fan on a Sonic Unleashed forum posting that of course, it's far better when he's actually tearing apart a genuinely bad game (Valkyria Chronicles), as opposed to shitting on a good game because he hates hedgehogs or because he finds one completely negligible flaw that he blows out of proportion.

    It's all in the eye of the beholder.

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    ArbitraryWater

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    #19  Edited By ArbitraryWater
    Delta_Ass said:
    "I can just envision some fan on a Sonic Unleashed forum posting that of course, it's far better when he's actually tearing apart a genuinely bad game (Valkyria Chronicles), as opposed to shitting on a good game because he hates hedgehogs or because he finds one completely negligible flaw that he blows out of proportion.It's all in the eye of the beholder."
    Touche. Your point is valid.
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    Godwind

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    #20  Edited By Godwind

    Probably because the game isn't bad as he thought. 

    He said towards end of the video that the turn based strategy genre is something he might want to get into.

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    Cube

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    #21  Edited By Cube

    People still care about Yahtzee?

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    the8bitNacho

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    #22  Edited By the8bitNacho

    Trashing a game loved by its fans, adored by the press and failing at retail.  This actually just strikes me as desperate attempt to be as offensive as possible.

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    PercyChuggs

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    #23  Edited By PercyChuggs

    So why is he playing a game in a genre he hates?

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    the8bitNacho

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    #24  Edited By the8bitNacho
    PercyChuggs said:
    "So why is he playing a game in a genre he hates? "
    So he can attempt to be funny.
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    TheKing

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    #25  Edited By TheKing

    It seems people only find him "not funny" when he bashes a game they like.

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    The_Ish

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    #26  Edited By The_Ish
    Kombat said:
    "Trashing a game loved by its fans, adored by the press and failing at retail.  This actually just strikes me as desperate attempt to be as offensive as possible."
    Except he already professes a bias against Japanese anime-styled RPG games. Did you expect a good review from him? Most of his points were valid, and this is coming from someone who actually liked Valkyria Chronicles.
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    c1337us

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    #27  Edited By c1337us

    I still enjoy watching Zero Punctuation every week. I think the problem here is that a few people need to step back and realise that Zero Punctuation isnt meant to be informative, not even meant to validate your opinion of a game you may love. It just tears apart games for the comedy value. I like it better when he targets better games because making fun of a woeful game is like shooting fish in a barrell. So having a dig at Yahtzees credibility * to defend a game your like is a waste of time and effort. Having said that, this still wasnt one of the best ZP's for entertainment value in my opinion.

    * Sidenote: Credibility isnt (or at least shouldnt) be defined by skill level. Reviews are opinion, and anyone who has gone through the process of playing the game is entitled to one. I would be more concern about credibility of someone reviewing games they havent played or someone whose been paid to spin a game in a light contrary to their true thoughts. I cant see this being the case here, what moron would pay off this guy to do a ZP review for their product?

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    Agnogenic_delete

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    #28  Edited By Agnogenic_delete

    He really has gotten worse lately. :/

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    DonPixel

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    #29  Edited By DonPixel

    He´s overall quality is going down, either as a critic or as a comedian.  

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    Agnogenic_delete

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    #30  Edited By Agnogenic_delete
    DonPixel said:
    "He´s overall quality is going down, either as a critic or as a comedian.  "
    Both me thinks.
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    KingBroly

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    #31  Edited By KingBroly

    Excuse me, gentlemen, but I must be off to Australia for no particular reason whatsoever...with a crowbar...quite.

    And when I get back, more Valkyria Chronicles because it is awesome and whoever likes it is also awesome.

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    Undeadpool

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    #32  Edited By Undeadpool

    I find it kinda hilarious that:

    a)people are doing what they claim Yahtzee does (IE: ignore the parts that don't make their points valid. I mean really, you all enjoy going back to a menu every time a cutscene ends JUST to watch another cutscene?)

    b) forgetting that Yahtzee doesn't review games, he hates on them. He's admitted it openly, Escapist has an ACTUAL game reviewer, he's there for comedic effect. And I can understand his gripes about JRPGs (as someone who's currently playing and enjoying Valkyria Chronicles).

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    deactivated-5c5cdba6e0b96

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    Am I the only one who has no clue what the fuck he ever says?

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    GunstarRed

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    #34  Edited By GunstarRed

    It's amusing in a couple of spots but on a whole not so funny.... the zero punctuation stuff is completely lost on me.  I'm most amused that He found  a bunch of stuff thats fine in the game to be a problem yet leaving along the games biggest flaws..like hit detection and annoying difficulty spikes every so often.
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    OmegaPirate

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    #35  Edited By OmegaPirate
    @Bucketdeth said:
    " Am I the only one who has no clue what the fuck he ever says? "
    No- this is pretty much my experience when that dude talks. 
     
      
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    Undeadpool

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    #36  Edited By Undeadpool

    I'm kinda surprised he didn't bag on the dialogue delivery. The lines themselves are alright, but someone seems to have just given all the voice actors their lines and no one else's because it sounds like they're reading them alone. It's sad because I'm really getting into the game, but then a line like "The Edelweiss...............SWIMS JUST FINE!!!!!" comes along and yanks my immersion back out.

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    SuperSecretAgenda

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    ...There's a difference between beating on a game that receives little but praise from the community, and one that receives little praise.

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    deactivated-5d7bd9e4bef30

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    @Milkman said:
    " As soon as he hates on a lesser known (dare I say indie) game that is a critical darling among the hardcore crowd, the people say he's not funny. But if he had done this video about Halo, the comments would be more in the line "LAWL YAHTZEE IS TEH FUNNI!" Yahtzee's predictable? No, you people are.  "
    Truth
     
    Anyway, he'll never top the limerick episode about Wolfenstein. That shit was extremely clever and well done.
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    Demo

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    #39  Edited By Demo

    ZP is awesome, the analogies and the way he picks on problems that I have in common make them not only entertaining but informative as well. I also hate JRPGs.
     
    Some people see the videos with the wrong eyes, or they are just offended.

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    Undeadpool

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    #40  Edited By Undeadpool

     

    " @Milkman said:
    " As soon as he hates on a lesser known (dare I say indie) game that is a critical darling among the hardcore crowd, the people say he's not funny. But if he had done this video about Halo, the comments would be more in the line "LAWL YAHTZEE IS TEH FUNNI!" Yahtzee's predictable? No, you people are.  "
    Truth  Anyway, he'll never top the limerick episode about Wolfenstein. That shit was extremely clever and well done. "
    This
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    Meowayne

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    #41  Edited By Meowayne
    @TeflonBilly said:

    " @Milkman said:

    " As soon as he hates on a lesser known (dare I say indie) game that is a critical darling among the hardcore crowd, the people say he's not funny. But if he had done this video about Halo, the comments would be more in the line "LAWL YAHTZEE IS TEH FUNNI!" Yahtzee's predictable? No, you people are.  "
    Truth 
    No, wrong. Yahtzee is at his best when he "reviews" a game that is all-around solid or good, and he knows it, and the audience knows it, and he enjoyed (parts of) it, and uses that as vehicle to write excellent over-the-top rants about its weaknesses (example: Dead Space), OR when he reviews a game that is clearly just a crappy game (example: Wolfenstein).
    It is when he sets out to play a popular game with the preset opinion of hating on it, when he wilfully picks out a game of his hate topics just for the heck of pissing people off when all the cleverness vanishes and the weekly Zero Punctuation turns into professional trolling. 

    This becomes especially obvious whenever he is reviewing a Wii game, or talks about JRPGs. Yahtzees video game rants are hilarious. But whenever the person Ben Croshaw geniunly and blindly hates something, Zero Punctuation becomes dull and embarrassing.
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    eroticfishcake

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    #42  Edited By eroticfishcake

    It's really more satirical than serious. Even so I still love Valkyria Chronicles despite the cliches. Sometimes he's funny, sometimes he isn't though I will admit the Wolfenstein limerick was very good.
     
    Also, this thread is four months old!

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    Andorski

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    #43  Edited By Andorski

    I liked it.

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    Crono

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    #44  Edited By Crono

    I played this and did not like it one bit.  To me Yahtzee was right on the mark.

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