1981 Ranked
This is probably the first year where video games came out that I truly love
List items
-
Defender...so, so much better than Offender
-
The whole, like, plot of Frogger has all the nonsense of an Atari 2600 game, if they actually had the tech to back it up. You hop one space at a time because you're a frog - and hey, you look like a frog! It's all very exciting
-
If QIX was designed today, in the era of the Oddly Satisfying viral video, QIX would be marketed as the *ultimate* oddly satisfying video game ever made.
-
Ms. Pac-Man always recalls to me the whole 'the neutral character is the male one, the female character is the male character with female-signifying design on top' thing in video game character design. I don't really have anything funny or insightful to say about that, it's just sad
-
I already thought Tempest was the coolest looking shit in the world, and that cover art over there has convinced me I was dead right
-
This whole intentionally getting kidnapped to make yourself more powerful bit is psychologically confusing
-
So Pauline is mayor of New York City, we know that now. What's up with Mario that he only dates women of significant political influence? Is he attracted to power? And how is it that so many of the women he's attracted to, women who almost definitely have private security safeguarding them at any given moment, all end up kidnapped in some weird remote place?
Hear me out. Look at Donkey Kong's face over here. He's smiling mid-battle with Mario, but Pauline can't see it. Something is up with Mario, man. I'm telling you. Maybe this isn't a real fight after all. Maybe it never was
-
Look, I like Jungler. It's like centipede except you're also a centipede, so you're shooting everyone else's butts. That's just not a thing you can do in real life and get away with
-
Imagine a game coming out right now called "Manhole" and it NOT being a sex thing
-
Centipede is the inverse of Frogger. They had the technology to make a reasonable game, but then their brains produced gibberish that you can visually but not intellectually process. Why is my spaceship shooting at mushrooms? Why centipedes even, what the fuck is happening here
-
Each arena in New Rally-X is surrounded by some kind of debris. I can't tell what all of it is. It's almost impossible to imagine anyone entering OR exiting a New Rally-X stage. What if all the racers don't want to be there? What if the New Rally-X company isn't on the up and up about all this? What if New Rally-X is......PUBG?
-
I have to imagine having a pinball machine at home without all the stress of pinball machine ownership was a tremendous selling point in 1981, which means I also have to imagine the people who bought this game were disappointed in its quality VERY quickly
-
Circus Atari is Breakout if it both played AND looked doofy as all hell
Load Comments