We return once again with 64 in 64's newer, slimmer form as we take on the best and more frequently worst the Nintendo 64 has to offer. Our goal, as always, is to critique these games in a modern context to see if they're something that should be added to the Nintendo Switch Online service, which is presently stuffing its premium subscription tier with whatever N64 games it can find at a glacial speed.
Episode 5's solo random pick isn't... awful? Considering what else is out there? I won't have to play a racing or sports game this week, for the first time since this feature began. Dropping to a single random game per episode means I won't be too verklempt if I get hit with a Whammy, but all the same I hope this luck holds.
Once more unto the rules:
- I choose one N64 game and have one chosen for me by a random selection process. Yes, this can include either of the Sesame Street edutainment titles. Elmo better watch his back.
- I then play both games for sixty-four minutes exactly, with each receiving progress reports taken at sixteen minute intervals. There's a "sixteen minutes of four-play" pun I refuse to make in there somewhere.
- I conclude with my closing thoughts on the game's enduring legacy, its odds of ever appearing on the NSO service, and whatever achievements I earned through RetroAchievements dot com.
- Also, and I don't mention this often, but we're excluding any game that is already available on NSO. Kinda defeats the purpose otherwise. It is very brave of me to exclude a dozen of the few games actually worth playing on the N64, and I thank you for saying so. (Related: February 25th saw the addition of The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, so now that's out of the running.)
Be sure to check out previous episodes here: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, and Episode 4.
Mischief Makers (Pre-Selected)
History: Treasure was one of Sega's secret weapons during the 16-bit era, putting out a series of colorful and eccentric hits on the Mega Drive that included all-timers like Gunstar Heroes, Dynamite Headdy, Alien Soldier, and Light Crusader. With the dawn of the 32-bit era, they followed Sega to the Saturn with Guardian Heroes and Silhouette Mirage but around the same time developed the N64-exclusive Mischief Makers (also their first non-Sega published game) as they were intrigued by the system's tech. This curiosity would become a pattern for them going forward, using their prowess at pushing hardware to its limits to adapt games for a plethora of home console and arcade platforms. Mischief Makers is a 2D platformer that follows the robotic maid Marina Liteyears as she attempts to rescue her creator by grabbing, shaking, and tossing around all obstacles in her way, including enemies.
I've spent very little time with Mischief Makers in the past because I never really got Treasure the way many of my retro-gaming-focused contemporaries did, but after a few years of the Mega Archive I've definitely come around to appreciate the level of craft and personality that goes into every one of their creations. Even though it's just an hour and change, I'm hoping this playthrough of Mischief Makers resonates a little harder this time.
16 Minutes In
Mischief Makers dumps a lot on you in the first two levels, which use roundabout ways of teaching you the core mechanics while setting up the story and a few major characters. The second actually has a funny way of introducing your moves: you're met with an evil version of yourself who promises to use all of Marina's techniques on the nearby innocent civilians to trash Marina's reputation, and whenever you talk to one they say something along the lines of "don't do [mechanic] to me again by pressing [button], I beg of you!". So far I've learned how to dash in any direction (both the C-buttons and D-pad do this, but for some reason the C-button versions are weaker), how to grab enemies (or really anything) and either throw them or shake them down for money, how to dig at suspicious spots, and how to use the teleporters.
I can already tell this is a Treasure game from its offbeat attitude and how, structurally, nothing is straightforward. I thought all these clay doll-looking dudes with the glowy red eyes were enemies, but most of the ones I've met so far have instead been friendly NPCs. There's still a lot of questions I have about some of these gem collectibles - chiefly, what any of them do, though I've noticed a few of them heal you - and how to reach the ones that are higher up that the dash can't reach. There's also a few buried in the landscape, so I think I need bombs for those but have no idea where to find one. There might be some backtracking involved, either that or the collectibles don't matter at all and I can probably just keep going. So that's what I'll do for now, despite it running counter to how I play anything with shinies to collect.
32 Minutes In
The next level introduced a theme park revolving around "Cranballs" ("I've been calling her Cranball! Why didn't someone tell me?!") which can be used as airborne grapple points, and there's a recurring pink Cranball with a ribbon called Ms. Hint who gratefully accepts my crystal collectible things to tell me important game information like recommending I try the shake button on the Cranballs. Turns out shaking one's balls provides all sorts of benefits, not least of which is activating additional balls to shake and opening the level's exit teleporter. The subsequent level was another theme park, this one themed around spikes, which naturally didn't do you any favors if you tried to grab them. The level after that involved me finding a bunch of kids and returning them to their mother, having to quickly master the dash and grab moves to chase them down as they ran away.
I have to say, I'm enjoying the silly method this game is doling out these necessary mechanical tutorials, building jokes and strange mission concepts around them. Definitely reminds me of how many of Dynamite Headdy's levels were just one-off skits and other goofy asides. Treasure's never been one to adhere to a traditional pattern of having each world be a set of standard-length levels punctuated by a boss fight at the end. Instead, a boss can show up at any time, and levels can be ten minutes long or ten seconds long. A game with a personality this strong would also explain why it's such a cult favorite: we tend to remember the games that stick out most.
48 Minutes In
Progressing through the first world - there's a map screen with discrete worlds, but given the nature of these levels there's little in the way of thematic cohesion - I've learned a few more tricks while the game continues to throw its curveballs. In the 36 minute screenshot I was halfway through a level where you control a colossal "Blockman" to bash through walls and since then the game's been freely tossing enemies my way, starting with a sudden boss fight against a desert worm that could breathe fire and more recently against a pack of these Clancer guys wearing cowboy hats. Clancers, incidentally, are the name of those spooky robot dudes that have been mostly friendly so far, though I guess some have been turned evil by the Empire that kidnapped Marina's prof. It's not always easy to tell apart the good ones and the bad ones, but fortunately you can't seem to do any permanent damage to the former.
With the introduction of enemies it feels like the game's ready to take the training wheels off. I think I have enough practice with the mechanics now to make progress. One thing the game's not formally introduced me to yet are the golden diamonds: you can see one in the above screenshot behind these red walls I need to explode. Collecting them generates a little victory chime and places a golden diamond next to the level's name, so I'm guessing these are the important collectibles. I'm just going to see far I can get in this last 16 minute segment without getting obsessive over backtracking for collectibles - believe me, though, it's a test of willpower.
64 Minutes In
Two levels into the second world, though thematically 1-10 and 2-1 are connected to one another, and the game's starting to get visually ambitious with some 3D depth to the otherwise 2D platforming. In fact, the level I just completed here in the screenshot, where you climb a tower activating Cranballs that reset destroyed walls so you can use them to climb up further, reminded me a lot - if only superficially - of a Kirby 64 level where you're being chased upwards by a rising floor of sand. So far, Mischief Makers has performed a minor miracle of creating a wholly distinct hook for each of these levels: 1-10 had you escaping a live volcano - a familiar pattern of dodging past fireballs which fall at regular intervals, which I believe was also a Yoshi's Island stage - while 2-1 saw you boosting past lava traps with a mix of the horizontal dash and roll moves (the latter allows you to escape damage while moving forward, ideal for traps that can't be leapt over) and 2-2 had the aforementioned tower climb.
I'm honestly sad to put the game down, but rules are rules. After half an hour, once it's assured that you have most of the mechanics down, the game starts to let its hair down a bit and give you some challenging fights and platforming sequences. If I were to return to the game, I might backtrack for those golden diamonds - despite the fact I still have no idea what they do - and keep seeing what kind of surprises future levels have in store.
How Well Has It Aged?: Superbly. Graphically it's doing the same pre-rendered sprites thing that Kirby 64 would eventually do (as well as Donkey Kong Country on the generation previous) but Treasure games have always had this certain abstractness when it comes to their aesthetics so it mostly works. Gameplay-wise Mischief Makers follows Super Mario 64's conceit of creating a wide repertoire of moves the player can pull off and constantly coming up with new ideas to challenge their growing mastery of same, and this early variation - no clue as to how long into the late-game it lasts - has made it a joyfully unpredictable journey. Ultimately, the fact that it's so distinct (in both mechanical and narrative terms) is probably why it's aged as well as it has.
Chance of Switch Online Inclusion: Unsure. Treasure is still around but they've been inert since 2018, when they ported their polarity-switching shoot 'em up Ikaruga on Switch and PS4. Prior to that, their last original game was the vaguely Mega Man-esque 3DS character-action Gaist Crusher God, released in 2014 in Japan only. Most of their Mega Drive games have been widely available for a while (the exception being the licensed stuff, like McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure and their YuYu Hakusho game), but that might be more Sega's doing than Treasure's. Mischief Maker's original Japanese publishers were Enix, so if this is something Square Enix has the power to make happen it might become part of whatever deal they eventually sign with Nintendo to put their SNES JRPGs on the service. Lotta big maybes though.
Retro Achievements Earned: 2 (of 55). Standard assortment of achievements for story progress, no-damage boss clears, and collecting all those gold gems I mentioned. There's also a few for earning A-Ranks and S-Ranks on levels (I didn't get a single one of either of those; I guess I had to be much faster).
Rampage 2: Universal Tour (Random)
- Avalanche Software / Midway Games
- 1999-03-?? (NA), 1999-05-21 (EU)
- 188th N64 Game Released
History: Rampage 2: Universal Tour is the direct sequel to Rampage World Tour, itself an attempt to reboot the 1986 arcade game Rampage with pre-rendered 3D graphics and something resembling a narrative thread as your chosen colossal mutant terrorizes cities across the world. Intended in part to be a competitive multiplayer game, where you and a rival cause the most destruction as quickly as possible, the game still just about works as a single-player experience. Developers Avalanche Software rose from the ashes of Acclaim, founded by former members of Sculptured Software (briefly Acclaim Studios Salt Lake City), and got their auspicious start with the SNES/Genesis port of Midway's Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3. They remained a Midway subsidiary until the mid-00s when they were bought by Disney, and jettisoned along with its entire games branch after the "disappointing" sales of Disney Infinity. Avalanche is still active today, having been resurrected by WB Games, and is currently working on wizarding sim Hogwarts Legacy.
With this feature, I occasionally run into the issue of "is an hour enough time to get a good handle on a game?" Ogre Battle 64 was one such case where an hour barely got me through the tutorials and opening cutscenes. Others, like Goemon or the Zeldas, increase in quality as they go beyond that sixty-four minute mark because you unlock new characters, items, and mechanics as you progress. Rampage, though? Rampage might be the perfect game to only play for an hour. In fact, an hour's probably too much. I'm very familiar with the original Rampage - I owned the Atari ST version, one of the home computer's better arcade conversions - and I've played through Rampage World Tour at least once on MAME. These aren't great games necessarily - the jumping controls and punching accuracy leave much to be desired, and it's repetitive as all hell - but they've always been decent enough timewasters.
16 Minutes In
Well, so far, so Rampage. The pattern's been the same since the original 1986 arcade cabinet: you climb buildings, punch each floor on either side to do the most damage possible while eating anything edible you find (including people), smash the roof until the whole structure eventually crumbles, and then move onto the next. Anything shooting at you needs to die ASAP. Once everything's a smoking crater you move onto the next city.
Universal Tour made me think this game was either going to start including other planets or maybe you fight Jaws or a T-Rex from Jurassic Park. Except I don't think it's affiliated with Universal Studios so it's probably the former and only after I get far enough through. Right now I'm stomping through San Diego and gradually making my way to the east coast and NYC. Taking a bite out of the Big Apple is sort of a rite of passage for giant monsters.
32 Minutes In
Neglected to mention, there's three new kaiju in this one. We have Boris, a giant rhino; Curtis, a big rat; and Ruby, this enormous crab/lobster person who ought to be followed around by B-52s music. The original trio (George, Lizzie, Ralph) were captured after World Tour and you've set out to either rescue them or destroy them so you can take over as the dominant mutants. I'm wondering if by completing one set of levels, each on a different continent, you unlock the mutant you emancipate for the other level sets. Besides some mild stat variation I don't think it makes much of a difference which one you pick.
The other new thing, and this may have been in World Tour as well, is that you can fill up an ability gauge and unleash it to do a lot of damage very quickly. For Ruby, it's spinning around in circles doing lariats to buildings and tanks. It's been handy but I frequently forget I have it, since I'm so used to playing the original; I should remember to use it when there's a lot of stuff around shooting me.
48 Minutes In
Gotta tell ya, stomping on buildings and squishing tiny humans can get old surprisingly fast. I've now made it as far east as Cleveland (I'll tell you what's "Hot in Cleveland" right now: all those smoldering ruins I left behind) and the usual Rampage doldrums have set in. One issue with these classic arcade game remakes is that they don't really do enough to flesh out the game sufficiently to make them viable for home systems. Rampage arcade conversions, and the arcade original itself, were fine in the mid-1980s because games weren't generally sophisticated enough to extend beyond thirty minute playthroughs before you got bored and moved on, but trying to sell that same model of game at the cusp of the 21st century for fifty or sixty bucks seems almost obscene in comparison. Cynical, even.
Granted, though, in its multiplayer mode you can forgive much of its mindless repetition: if the stated purpose of Rampage is to get drunk (or giddy on sugary drinks, for younger audiences) and smash a city to pieces with your friends it works well enough in that context.
64 Minutes In
I eventually got a game over in Boston - Red Sox fans are pretty intense - and, naturally, there are no continues. There's an in-game save system though, so I imagine I would've started over a few levels back when the prompt to save last appeared. No skin off my colossal chitin either way, since I only had about three minutes left on the timer. I decided to see what the European levels were like with Boris, and... well, let's just say Madrid looks shockingly like San Antonio. It even had the same twangy banjo BGM.
I'm not wary enough of jinxes to say that I hope this is all the Rampage I end up playing this year. A little certainly goes a long way with these games.
How Well Has It Aged?: Meh. You could say Rampage 2: Universal Tour didn't age all that well when it first came out, given it meticulously followed the blueprints of a then-thirteen-year-old game. On the other hand, the Rampage series was never one for nuance or a gradual progression of mechanical depth, and it works about as well today in delivering what it does as it ever has. I will say that I had more fun with Blast Corps, which has more or less the same objective of causing widespread destruction at a rapid clip.
Chance of Switch Online Inclusion: Not Zero. Rampage is now property of Warner Brothers, along with Avalanche, and they're still very active in video game development. Rampage memorably became a movie vehicle for The Rock as recently as 2018, and while I doubt anyone's interested in making a new game based on that giant mutant turkey whatever cursed focus group was involved in the decision to make it happen presumably considers Rampage to be enough of a recognized brand. Midway made many N64 games though, so if WB ever gets involved with Nintendo Switch Online they're going to be spoiled for choice: no telling if Rampage World Tour/Universal Tour is prioritized over the likes of Cruis'n USA, Rush, or MK4.
Retro Achievements Earned: 3 (of 25). Sometimes these little guys produce spoilers: there's one each for destroying major cities as George, Lizzie, and Ralph so I was right that you eventually unlock them. There's also several more kaiju too: Myukus, Big Al, and Noobus, the last of which is a Noob Saibot palette swap of Myukus. Good to know? I think I would've had to play the game for another two hours to unlock any of them though, so nuts to that.
Current Ranking
- Super Mario 64 (Ep. 1)
- Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon (Ep. 3)
- Mischief Makers (Ep. 5)
- Blast Corps (Ep. 4)
- Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards (Ep. 2)
- Ogre Battle 64: Person of Lordly Caliber (Ep. 4)
- San Francisco Rush 2049 (Ep. 4)
- Tetris 64 (Ep. 1)
- NBA Live '99 (Ep. 3)
- Rampage 2: Universal Tour (Ep. 5)
- South Park Rally (Ep. 2)
- Eikou no St. Andrews (Ep. 1)
- F-1 World Grand Prix II (Ep. 3)
- F1 Racing Championship (Ep. 2)
Log in to comment