I’m a Boy Scout, even on a second play through. I literally feel guilty to the point of reloading saves/save scumming because of my weird need to be a paladin in everything. KOTOR (the original) was the only exception, where I played evil in the second play through, which gave an honestly better end hours.
I’ve even mentioned this to a shrink before, who oddly encouraged me to make evil decisions because it might help me deal with the ambiguity of real life a bit better (though to be fair as a non-gamer she didn’t realize the simplistic aspect of “help grandma or kill puppy” that games still deal in.)
That said, I love ambiguity, ala KOTOR 2, witcher 1 and 2 (3 was a little more good dad or bad dad so I couldn’t just be a good dad even when I played other choices different)band tyranny, which I could only really only play half way before I just had to stop because I didn’t want to be evil anymore, despite that I loved the idea of tyranny. Making things gray areas is the right move, but games still lock better endings behind being good, and I’m not sure they should reward evil considering how fucking evil real life is, though also narratively it’s more interesting.
Disco Elysium is an exception, but that game is a real and true literature novel that asks those questions of morality in a less simplistic way. Though even in that I played as a person I addiction recovery instead of a downward spiral, because I needed hope to guide me. I dunno. I play games as an escape, and part of that escape is being better than my real self, even without the superpower fantasy. Disco let me be the fuckup tying to get better, and it was amazing for it.
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